An Ordinary Day

There are days, when you can feel blood flowing through your veins, creating a special kind of rush. This rush is accompanied by a sense of excitement, which sets off a game of domino with pieces falling right into the productive spaces. And then there are days, when you are enclosed by a bubble of soothing calmness, with nothing but a quest for stillness between the noise of velocities.
Troy had a special kind of love for both of these. But unfortunately, he was getting neither of them for a few months. As a student who had taken an year off for the preparation of a few entrance exams, Troy had days in a monotonous rhythm with minor to no variations. Waking up, freshening, eating, studying, eating, studying, ea........, sleeping; was all he was doing these days. He couldn't help but wonder about the decisions he took in his past, that had confined him into his own little room with a set of course books, willingly. Actually that's a lie. He knew exactly what those decisions were, and to say the least, he was proud of them. To become worthy in your own eyes, you have to go invisible for a while; and he was very well aware and in support of this. But still there were moments, when self-doubt splintered between the doors of his confidence; the doors that he had closed long back, locking all his insecurities behind it. This was one of those moments.
He was looking at his twelfth standard's batch picture, at the people with whom he had spent some of the most memorable moments of his life. Those people, who had all gone their separate ways, were all standing still in a frame. They were looking towards him with expressions he couldn't muster, maybe because the picture was not clear enough, or maybe because his eyes were unfocused with traces of wetness in them. He was barely in contact a few of them, so that gave him a sense of connection with the picture.  But still when he looked at that picture, he did not see his friends or students, but rather a world that he was a part of, a world that he lived in for twelve years of his life, a world that taught him everything that he knew, a world that was snatched from him before he was ready to let go, a world that now felt foreign to him. He couldn't help but let that sense of detachment tear through him. It was his world, scattered across different parts of this other world, this much larger world, waiting to be explored. And he could not do that either. He was stuck between the ending of one world and the beginning of another, a limbo that seemed to have no end. Knowing that the door is going to be unlocked, does not take away that feeling of being trapped. And this was just one of those moments, when he felt it the most.
But still his darkest of the moments were never dark enough to extinguish the fire of faith he carried. It was a very unusual kind of faith he had, although it did work for him. He felt, that life was going to throw both stones and flowers at him, and he would have to accept both. So he had faith, that while every flower would be a milestone he covered, every stone thrown at him will make him stronger to face the next stone. And maybe, just maybe a time will come ahead, when he has grown immune to those. This was just another stone, one that even though was hurting him, was also making him stronger for bigger stones waiting for him. This faith, although not a big one, was steady enough for him to hold on to. And maybe; just maybe, a time would come when he would be able to look back at this limbo from the outside, and make it a milestone in a journey of his inner battles.
He put back the picture where it was kept and glanced at the clock. It was time to go to sleep, a dreamless one, because all his dreams were already moulded between the virtual pages of his real eyes. He knew exactly what was going to come tomorrow, and even though he was not excited for it, he was content with it. Tomorrow, just like yesterday, was going to be an ordinary day.